Are you Good Enough?

Damn right you are!

Don’t believe everything you think. If you’re thinking you’re just not good enough you’re allowing negative thinking to take over and wasting time and energy feeling unnecessarily unhappy and discontent.

Not reaching a particular place yet that you want to be in your life doesn’t mean you are failing. If you are putting in the time and making the effort then you are exactly where you’re meant to be. Too many of us equate success with perfection and if we’re not perfect then we are failing. We miss the point that failures or missing our goals are often valuable lessons that are helping us on our way. Being ambitious is no bad thing but doesn’t serve us well if we don’t focus on the present and on our process without constantly striving for a particular result. Things will be more relaxed and fun if we can let go of results and go with the process.

Comparing ourselves with others is another big mistake. Social media tends to record people’s highlights and successes. Not many people share the lows and failures, but they are having them just the same, just like the bad days and the worries and cares that the rest of us have. Oh, and they’re probably comparing themselves to others too so time to stop playing that fool’s game. Just keep in mind that there are and always will be, people higher and lower on the rung than you which is another reason to just concentrate on where you’re at right now. When the time comes to climb another rung it will be far more satisfying and rewarding if you have been fully engaged with your previous level rather than carrying frustration and discontent with you. Happiness is about being at peace with where you are right now and not with where you are not. Enjoy each stage as fully as you can.

So, if you are going to enjoy each stage it probably means occasionally checking in that you’re on the right track which is what I’ve been doing. Having had my little success of having paintings chosen to exhibit in London last week, I’ve been taking stock of my year to date and what I’ve achieved and what I wanted to achieve. I’ve had many wins this year, most modest but wins just the same that deserve my acknowledgement. However, I’ve been having a nagging feeling about my approach for a while now and have finally faced up to the fact that I’m not very happy with some of the work I’ve been doing recently. I believe that the time I have been giving to gain a social media presence has compromised my quality thinking time for my art practice which has affected my output. Social media is the double-edged sword; it gives us so much access to self-promotion and self-determination, particularly in the notoriously difficult world of the arts which can be just about impossible to break into. It also takes up a great deal of time and strategy planning which in my case has given me less time for my art and what I want and need to express in it. I’m putting the hours in the studio but not my heart and mind in the way that I did when producing the paintings that were selected for exhibition. I am not happy with this. I’m at a time in my life when I can choose for my art and my process to come first before any public recognition.

So, am I good enough? Well yes, I believe I am but if I want to keep being good enough I have to redirect my focus away from social media and towards the studio. Social media doesn’t have to stop dead in its tracks but it’s not getting the amount of headspace it was. That belongs to what I love and must not lose sight of. Lesson learnt. Recognition for me may take far longer, indeed may never come, but I will always make room, and plenty of it, to pursue my passion whilst I can. If happiness is about being at peace with where you are right now and you are not, it doesn’t hurt to carefully examine your situation and attempt to put right what you are getting wrong.

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Why Playing helps you Work

One of the biggest pressures that artists put on themselves is to produce a ‘masterpiece’ every time they enter the studio and when that doesn’t happen, which is most of the time, leave despondent and frustrated.  The more that expectation is there, the more pressure is there and the more likely failure and frustration will follow.

It’s very easy to say leave the pressure at the studio door, and quite another to manage it, but it is important to find strategies to do this if painting or other passion isn’t to turn in to some sort of self-flagellation. I wrote last time of not necessarily having a plan when I paint but to follow where the painting leads and that’s one of the strategies I employ. If I don’t know what’s going to happen and consequently have no expectations, it’s much harder to fail. It doesn’t mean you don’t have frustrations and bad days in front of the easel or your equivalent, but it dramatically decreases them and that’s very worthwhile.

The way I’ve come to deal with this, which hasn’t come easily I might add, is to play. Now, I’ve never approached anything in my life since leaving childhood behind by play, and initially this all seemed frivolous and pointless. I was following a couple of courses which really expounded the benefits of playing and I would impatiently wait for this part to pass so the real work could commence. However, whichever way I turned, artists and tutors were going on about playing. So, eventually, giving in and lacking inspiration one day, I did just that. I created mess all around me, mess on the paper in front of me and found it all a bit ridiculous. I pushed the work to one side ready to throw and cleaned up. The following day I came into the studio, threw the work away and, still lacking inspiration, found myself playing again. Another mess to clear up and more work to throw. However, I felt a bit lighter and had discovered a couple of new colour mixes I would never have dreamed would work so that was something. The third day I entered the studio, brighter and ready to make a few notes of the things I had discovered from the day before which meant digging around in the bin and looking at this play work again, which in this different mindset looked quite different and very interesting. That done, there I was playing again but this time I really relaxed and got absorbed in the  process and at the end I realised there was something in this playing that was freeing and creative and actually a first step on the way to the ‘proper’ work.

Playing helped me uncover processes and methods that I would never explore when working on a ‘proper’ piece of work for fear of messing it up. It loosened me up and started to become my warm-up session. After a while I realised that parts of these spontaneous, unplanned pieces had more energy and beauty about them than what followed which confused and troubled me to start with. I just couldn’t get those lovely free marks in the work that followed that I could in the warm-up. Finally, it dawned on me that the warm up could be part of my ‘real’ work and that instead of keeping the two things separate the warm up could inspire and inform what followed but all in the same piece of work and this is how I tend to approach things now and really interesting work results.

So, out comes the panel that I’m going to start a new work on, and all kinds of crazy stuff get slapped on it, any colours, any textures, perhaps collage, perhaps scribbling. Anything that frees me up and gives me something to respond to. I continue like this until I feel ready to start thinking about a colour palette based on what is in front of me and continue with the areas that I like and cover up those that I don’t. This process can go on for many days before some ideas percolate to the forefront and start informing an image. Plus I will have quite a few of these panels on the go at once so as I dry up with ideas and falter I can put one panel down and pick up another and just go round and round in this rotation defining, refining, starting over, scraping back until something grips me and I become fully absorbed in exploring it. Left over paint at the end of the day usually gets smeared over a waiting panel ready for the process to begin again.

One of the most important things this process allows is for me to go into the studio at any time with something to do, ie get my paint out and any other materials that I fancy and mess about instead of procrastinating because I have no idea what I should be getting on with and no inspiration. It makes me show up every day and it is rare that I will leave having done nothing or feeling low and uninspired. Those days happen, they always will but they are infrequent. If you can keep curious and inquisitive wondering what will happen if I use this material with this material, if I mix these two colours, if I make this mark here and that mark there, and give it a go, you will keep creative, innovative and ultimately fulfilled.